Suicidal Much?
by xXxFailzatWritingxXx
Summary: OCxSasuke! This is what happens when a girl's family is gone forever, she goes suicidal. But what happens when a certain Uchiha shows her his cuts? Yay, self-harming love! I mean, uh...MAYBE self-harming love... :3 Rated M for OC's terrible mouth. Maybe lemon...later in the chapters, if I make them.


My family is gone. I don't know what to do.

I was sitting in my bathroom, on top of the closed toilet seat. I had a razor in my right hand and Tylenol in the left. I was wondering what would be the most painless way to go, as the rest of my family has. I was numb. Blind. Deaf. Only focusing on my heartbeat and wanting it to stop. Forever.

Everything was in slow motion. I wasn't focused in the door, when it swung open to reveal a shocked and panting Naruto, I hardly even noticed. I felt strong grips on my wrists. He knocked the suicidal instruments out of my hands, placed his hands on my shoulders, and shook me. Shook me until he thought I snapped out of my suicidal trance. He tried to make eye contact, with my empty, pain-numbed eyes. I looked into his shockingly-blue ones.

I didn't hear what he said. I saw him whip out his phone and dial a number that was foreign to me, not that I was paying that much attention anyway. My hearing decided to kick in while he was yelling in mid sentence. Damn, it worked. He got me to listen to him.

"…COME HERE, TEME, OVER TO MOMO'S HOUSE, NOW. IT'S AN EMERGENCY, AND BRING SAKURA, TOO. I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU GET HERE, JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" He yelled. I was almost oblivious to him whispering soothing things to me, such as, "It's gonna be alright…" or "Hang in, there Momo…" and "Help is on the way…."

Help? It's never going to be alright. No one can help me, just give me back my tools and let me carve something beautiful into my soft flesh. Let me feel the physical pain and let the blood drown out the emotional pain. I just want it to end. Right here, right now.

"Naruto? Where are you, dobe? What happened to Mo—" He got cut off by Sakura's high-pitched screeching.

"WHERE IS SHE? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? IS SHE ALL RIGHT?" Her screeches of torture where enough physical pain to make my hearing and sight kick in. I smiled. I think my ears were bleeding. My vision and hearing were back. I wasn't as numb as before.

"Say something! Please, Momo, say something…" I looked up and saw Sakura's glassy green orbs searching in my own orange ones, trying to find my reasoning. I looked passed her and saw Naruto and Sasuke talking. I ignored Sakura and tuned into what they were saying.

"…help her? Remember, you were suicidal once, too. Just talk to her, you're the only one that can understand why she was trying to…to…." He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to admit to himself that I was actually trying to kill myself.

"Kill myself?" I asked. Everyone's attention seethed into me.

"MOMO!" All of them yelled; well, Sasuke just sounded shocked, he wasn't really the yelling type. That was the only thing I remember before passing out.

I woke up in the Konoha Hospital. I slowly opened my eyes; what I saw gave me a heart attack. I saw almost everyone in Konoha; Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, Sai, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Shino, Hinata, Kiba, Kurenai, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Gai, and Tsunade. Kakashi was the first to notice my awakening; even though he didn't say anything, he made intense eye contact. I glared back just as intensely. Sai soon noticed my staring contest with Kakashi and jabbed Sasuke, who whispered to Neji, who whispered to Tenten, who whispered to Ino, who poked Shikamaru, who stated very plainly, "She's awake." That caught the remaining ninja's attention, which immediately darted to the suicidal girl in the hospital bed.

"Hey, guys, I really appreciate you all coming to see me, but you didn't have—"

"NONSENSE! We had to see if you were all right!" Lee happily interrupted.

"But, I'm not physically damaged, so…why am I in the hospital?" I asked, pointing my words to Tsunade.

"Well, that's what you and I will talk about. If everyone will please step out of the room, I'll be happy to explain. Now, GET OUT." Tsunade used her characteristically forcefully-polite words on the others. Everyone hastily made their way out of the crowded hospital room. After everyone was gone. Tsunade grabbed the chair Kakashi was sitting on and swung it around so that her front was leaning on the back of the chair.

"Why did'ja do it, kiddo? What would have possibly made anything better, by just ending it all? Did you ever stop to consider the people around you, what they would feel?" She was trying to make me feel guilty. Damn, it worked.

"I didn't think. I just did what my body wanted me to." I answered flatly.

"Think now. Think about how your friends would feel. How your family wou—" Tsunade stopped herself. She knew damn well why I wanted to do it. My family, lost, gone, forgotten. Dead. Forever. Due to not letting the physical pain bleed out my emotions, I snapped.

"WHAT FAMILY? YES, PLEASE, TSUNADE, ASK ME HOW MY FAMILY WOULD FEEL IF I KILLED MYSELF. YOUR GUILT TRICK IS WORKING EVER-SO-WELL, SO GO ON. ASK ME HOW MY FUCKIN' DEAD ASS FAMILY WOULD FEEL IF I KILLED MY WORTHLESS LIFE! I'M SURE THEY WOULD BE SO DISSAPOINTED TO SEE ME, WHEREVER THE FUCK THEY ARE! DON'T YOU GET IT? THEY'RE GO—" I got cut off. By Tsunade. _Hugging_ me. I wanted to keep yelling at her, rub it in her ugly-ass face that she was wrong, but, I couldn't. The anger vented itself out, now it was the depression's turn. I put my arms down and hugged Tsunade tighter than I could have ever hugged anyone in the whole world. I don't care if everyone outside the door heard me, my venting anger seethed and dissolved into the air.

"Shhh…. Let it out, all of it. Your anger, sadness, jealousy, rejection, convert it all into tears, and let it leek out slowly. I'm here for you, Momo, don't forget that. No matter who leaves you, you will never be alone as long as I'm around." Tsunade soothed. I followed her instructions. The seething rage I felt ten seconds ago was gone. I converted my anger, sadness, jealousy, and rejection, all of it, into tears.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, latched onto Tsunade, silently crying myself into a deep sleep.

Again, I woke up in the hospital bed.

"Are you still feeling suicidal?" I heard a groggy female voice ask. I thought about it. I thought about how I felt, and put on a smile. I already vented and I don't want to go there again.

"Yes, I am." I said cheerfully, putting a brave face on over my pain. Tsunade looked surprised at my cheerfulness, but quickly and easily saw through it. Damn her and her smartness.

"Stop acting happy. Now, if you want, I will give you some pills to rid your mind of its burdens, and you will feel better than you do now. But, you have to promise not to overdose. They are made to relieve stress, which your body has a lot right of right now," She paused, making sure I was listening. I was. "Do you want them? Or do you think you're strong enough to get better by yourself?" She asked. I thought it over. I'm a strong-willed person; maybe I can stop this by myself. But, if I can't it would be good to have the pills as back up, in case I broke down and gave in.

"Yeah, gimme the pills," I said grumpily. "Are they still out there?" I asked, hiding my blush of embarrassment, but not before Tsunade caught it.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, they're your friends and they're here for you, just like I am." She whispered so they couldn't hear, I guess. That made my blush deepen. I got up from my bed and hugged Tsunade for a good five minutes.

"Kay, I'm ready." Ready to be pounced for answers by Sakura and Naruto, ready to try and explain as best I could, ready to receive disgusted stares from all of the Jonins, except maybe Iruka. He was always a considerate person. I walked out the door to be pounced by all my expectations. They all happened.

Naruto and Sakura ran away from Sasuke, Sai, and Kakashi to come and question my actions. Kakashi, Gai, and Kurenai stared with disgust, Iruka just looking worried, not disgusted. I accepted that.

"WHY?" Naruto and Sakura bellowed, making my ears bleed, again. I ignored them.

"You," I pointed to Sasuke. "Get to my house. Now." I said furiously. He smirked and walked out of the hospital. "You guys, come to my house in thirty minutes." I said pointing to Naruto and Sakura. "Anyone else that cares, come to my house in two hours." I said to everybody. I jumped out of their stares and walked to my house alone.

When I arrived, I heard shuffling and cabinets opening and closing. Was Sasuke was going through my food? I walked upstairs and turned left, towards my kitchen. I saw a relaxed Sasuke sitting at my dining room table, eating a banana like the only Uchiha I know.

"What the hell? You could've asked, you know." I said sitting in the seat next to him.

"Do you mind?" He asked, actually asking if I cared he stole my food. I was prepared to let loose my inner bitch, but I thought better of it.

"No," I said slamming my head onto the table.

"So, why'd did'ja tell me come here?" He asked, a playful tone in his voice.

"I wanted to talk to you about the…thing…that happened yesterday. While Sakura was bawling her eyes out on my lap, I was eavesdropping on what you and Naruto were talking about," I paused, seeing if he was catching on to where I was getting to. Nope, he didn't. "I heard Naruto say that you were suicidal once, too…" I said, keeping my head on the table.

"Yep." He said, finishing the last of my banana and getting up to throw it in the trash. He sat back down.

"Would that have something to do with the Uchiha Clan Massacre?" I said slowly, picking my head up and making eye contact.

"Yep." He said, showing a fake smile.

"Oh." I said, putting my head back down.

"I want to tell you something." I picked my head up again and stared at him, letting him continue. He grabbed is left sleeve and pulled it to his elbow, and showed me his forearm. It was scarred from the wrist to elbow. I grabbed his hand and put it in front of me, putting my hand on his wrist.

I traced the scars with my finger, about five times each. My nail scraped the closed wounds and when I was done, my finger tingled pleasurably. When I looked up I saw Sasuke blushing and staring at his arm.

"It really helps, you know? Letting the pain bleed out," He said. I had a feeling that he really needed to get this off his chest. Who could he talk to about it? Iruka? Fat chance. Kakashi? He wouldn't listen. Naruto? He wouldn't understand. Me? I've felt it, I'm listening, and I understand. "There's no other way I feel relieved. I don't just come out with my emotions, and nobody would understand if I talk to them about it. They would say I'm just another emo looking for attention," He said, making eye contact. "You're handling it better than I did, anyway." He finished. I picked my head up and weighed it there. Looking him straight in the eye.

"Handling what?"

"You're depression."

"I'm not…depressed…" I mumbled. "There's just no other way to let my emotions out, you know? Cutting is helpful. I like it. It makes me feel good." I said plainly.

"I know. But I doubt you want scars on your entire forearm. Now, we should stop talking about this because I think Naruto and Sakura are here. Change the subject and make it seem like we were talking about something else." He said, burying his face in his hands.

"But that's why I told them to come over. So I can explain why I tried to kill myself." I said.

"You really think they'll understand? Why do you think I never tried to talk to either of them about me? Even if they caught me in the act, I wouldn't tell them anything." He explained.

"They might not understand, but I'll try anyway."

Just then, a flash of yellow and pink darted in the room, catching me by surprise.

* * *

**DONE! Kay, so this is my first story and I don't really know if I want to make this into more chapters or not. I'll leave that to you, reviewers!**

**I got this idea after learning that my friend cuts herself, sooo...BUT DON'T WORRY SHE'S GETTING BETTER! :D**

**Anyway, even if I do make this into more chapters I have no idea what to do them about...I was thinking about making this an OCxSasuke thing, but IDK! Help me? GIMME IDEAS DAMMIT!...pwease? :3**


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